Archive for April, 2010
I guess it’s probably time for me to actually find a doctor in Massachusetts. Antibiotics are sometimes a good idea. I will figure this out… tomorrow, when I can call various offices and see who’s open.
There are a lot of things on my to-do list for the weekend. “Sleep” and “rest” are two of them. There’s a bunch more. I’d like to finish fixing up my email infrastructure, I hope to poke my parents about that 529 again (I’m trying to wrap my finances up and that’s the last thing I don’t have), I need to start booking travel for the summer both for myself and for other people doing POSSE. That’s all for Sunday-if-I-get-around-to-it, though. Tomorrow’s sprinting is all Sugar Labs stuff.
Weekend. I can haz it.
Friday, April 30th, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments »
Some of you may know that we’ve had a 40-person class of Allegheny first years working with us (largely in Fedora Marketing, but intersecting with Websites and Design as well) for the end of term. This is an experiment on many fronts – teaching open source, scaffolding for newcomers, figuring out whether our marketing materials make sense to folks outside the Fedora community… it’s been a hectic time as we’ve all (community and class alike) scrambled to keep up, but I am extremely pleased at what we’ve been able to accomplish so far. As the grand experiment winds down (today was the last full working day of class, I believe, thought the semester ends in early May and they still have a release party to go), For instance, they have:
…and more. There have been a lot of tough spots and confusing moments and frustrations, to be sure – and we have a lot to learn before we do this another time. But I must say I am learning a lot – about the art of teaching, and what we take for granted in Fedora, and what it takes to actually make a community accessible to newcomers of all types, rather than the ones we tend to see because they’re the lucky ones who manage to have, somehow, fought or found their way inside.
I’ve left some notes on the wiki wrt the work I’ve been able to see the Allegheny teams do in helping us out with various projects and deliverables – I suspect there’s a lot of work they have done that we haven’t seen yet, because we’re not physically there in Meadville to watch the conversations. So this is my attempt to call out what’s been visible from this side of the screen, so that hopefully we’ll be able to see all of it shortly.
Comments + additions welcome. Thanks for trying this out with us, everyone! Post-semester/post-release discussion coming… at the end of May, when everyone’s recovered, more or less.
Thursday, April 29th, 2010 | fedora, teaching open source | No Comments »
Mm, new toys. I’d like to take some time to look at the awesome window manager (I mean, tags instead of workspaces! keyboard shortcuts for everything!) but will use it as a reward for finishing Marketing deliverables this week. That means spin pages, one page release notes, and feature profiles, as well as wrapping up things nicely with the Allegheny class. Must… be… responsible.
Had a good talk with Gui today; he’s a friend of mine from Olin who’s opening up the Artisan’s Asylum this weekend (along with his fiancee Jenn and a few other friends). It’s a space for makers, and we tossed around thoughts on elements of the open source way that are applicable to building physical community spaces. Really, it’s not all that different. One of the important things we brought up was that having instructors be welcoming to newcomers and community members tolerant of newcomers was not enough. Everyone in the community needs to know that it’s their job to be not just tolerant, but actively seeking to draw in newcomers. New people bring new insights and new life to the entire community, so it’s the entire group’s job to make sure that happens. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.
My sleep schedule has been all sorts of messed up this week. I feel great other than the constant coughing, but the annoying part is that I suddenly get exhausted and unpredictably need lots of sleep (compared to my usual). So I’ll sleep a normal night and then crash in the afternoon for what I think is a 1-hour nap but ends up being a 10-hour one. Or I’ll try to nap for 2 hours and spend the first hour tossing and turning because I’m utterly drained physically, but my mind’s still going. It mostly goes “but… Mel, you can totally do work now!” “Mrrrrgh body won’t move.” “But… but I’m awake!” “Brain, shut up.” The thing is that I’ve been crashing hard enough that I’m asleep deeply enough that I will completely miss any alarms I set, and I can’t predict when I lie down how long it’s going to take me to get up again. Haven’t missed any meetings yet – I buffer long streams of sleep enough to wake up in advance of those – but it’s been closer than I’d like a few times and I’d rather not run that risk at all.
I realize it may not sound this way, but I really do feel great. It’s just that this scheduling thing is hard now what with the sleep unpredictability. I can’t wait to actually get better. I am starting to consider actually asking for antibiotics. However, I am extremely pleased with what’s been an uberproductive week so far. It would be more productive tonight if VPN wasn’t down and I could actually reach work email (then again, it’s 1am, so… maybe I should… sleep now.)
Oh wait – thanks to the power of git, I can still do local spins website edits! And the content I need is cached on Google. Sweet. Productivity for a little longer, then.
Also, I seriously need to get this Jason Mraz earworm out of my system. Why must Sesame Street song adaptations be so catchy? Why? (Suggestions for alternative earworms welcomed. Bonus criteria include good vocal harmonies and intriguing chord changes.)
Thursday, April 29th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
I’m writing this in part to decompress from the (long) day (actually, an extended string of long days), and in part in response to a question from Andrew on how I was doing. Andrew says I sound pretty happy on my blog, but that I’m also good at compartmentalizing things – to which I replied that heh, I thought I was terrible at compartmentalization… my brain’s all one giant unified mess, but I’m pretty good at kicking that thought-swarm in the direction I’d like it to go.
So how am I doing? I think it’d be more than fair to say that I am indeed happy. This isn’t particularly unusual; happiness is the default state of The Mel. And there’s been a lot worth celebrating lately; it’s not my place to break the news for any of these stories, but they should be out soon. Smaller moments, too – seeing old friends, dancing, chasing Audrey around with a netbook camera, figuring out another Norah Jones song on the guitar (“Shoot the Moon”). I’m happy. Giddy dancing happy, run-and-shout happy, giant tidal wave happy that just sweeps right through you. Life is good. No, no, life is great.
So I’m happy. I’m also tired, because all the happy news – which I wouldn’t change for the world, mind you – also brings with it multiple simultaneous rollercoasters of change, and change is hard. Uncertainty is hard. I would say “even for me,” but it’s actually an “especially for me” – I live so spontaneously and so unstably already that for something to register as change! means that it’s got to be pretty big. And I have been spending a lot of time thinking and a lot time in careful planning and a lot of time sleeping because of a persistent cough that hasn’t gone away since I got back to Massachusetts (so the exhaustion is also physical – I’m unconscious for more hours than usual these days).
I’ve been closer to the edge of exhausted instability than I’d like to admit, but I have good friends who can bring me back from it, and I also have ways of watching and managing it (adrenaline: it helps sometimes). I have (relatively) controlled crashes when it’s safe for me to do so. And I’m getting stuff done, and it’s good work – not my best work ever, but I’m also at a point where I’m learning how to do different kinds of work, so there’s always going to be a little churn on the uphill climb of learning, and then at some point I get to a place where I can enjoy a moment of coasting fluently before going “right then! next thing!” and going onwards and upwards again. I know how to keep myself running, and I am running, and it feels good.
And I’m… as close to content as I know how to be, I suppose. I’ve been in town for a bit over two weeks now, and the wanderlust is starting to itch at me again; I feel like driving through downtown and over the bridges late at night, watching the lights glow on the river… and wasting gasoline. I do miss living in the city, and my cough won’t let me bike that far right now. I have to move, I have to go and do things, I have to explode out and fly away.
It’s not that I don’t like where I am; Boston is the city that feels closest to home for me right now. But you have to go away in order to come back, and that sort of perpetual motion, that sort of unstable equilibrium, is where I’ve lived for so long that I’m not sure what else I can do. I’ve always either sat at home aching and twitching and dreaming of this kind of life or gone out to actually live it, and I much prefer the second. I can’t stay home. There’s a reason why “Can’t Stop Now” is one of my favorite Keane songs: the motion keeps my heart running. (Also, I think they play it too slowly.)
There’s restlessness – and that’s why I occasionally get wistful when I visit an older friend and see their kitchen full of pots and spices, or the garden in their yard, or their chickens, or their dogs. I wonder what it would be like to want to stay somewhere. But I don’t want to settle down, nor even want to want to settle down – at least not anytime soon. Maybe there are some things I’m running from, but there are far more things I’m running towards – and more than that, I’m running for the sheer joy and speed and freedom of running. And I’m finding over and over again that, my god, I can run fast. (Metaphorically. I have got to get over this cough so I can keep on working on the real-life analogue).
But I get on a plane to go camping with Andrew two weekends from now. And then it’s Olin’s graduation and I’ll be here with my friends and they’ll be coming from out of town. And the next weekend I’m in California for my cousin’s wedding. And then I’ll probably (hopefully) get to go to NYC to see Sumana and Leonard and Mirabai. And there’s dancing over the three-day weekend. And at some point in there, almost certainly, a trip to Raleigh. (Mmmmmm, BBQ.)
And then it’s June! And a whirlwind summer of POSSEs and teaching and conferences and workshops and glory begins. Ahhh. Bliss. Brutal, back-breaking bliss… but I am happiest in motion. And I’m willing to work long and hard, because some things are worth it.
So yeah, Andrew. Life is good. And I am looking forward to seeing you in a bit over a week, because I’m probably going to get off the plane, wave groggily, devour a gigantic Irish pub burger, and then (presumably) at some point collapse into a sleeping bag in a tent in the woods[0] for the weekend and not move again for a very, very long time. (Maybe even 6 hours.) And when I wake up again, I will officially be old. (But not old enough to rent a car cheaply, alas.)
[0] or the Florida equivalent, Mr. “I live in a state where the highest elevation is ~300 feet above sea level.” ;-)
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
I am very much looking forward to going camping with Andrew for my birthday (soon! I will be all old and stuff!). There’s been a lot happening in the past two months, and I’m still nearly as much of a high-pass filter as I was at 17 when Gill first called me one (and I started using the terminology/metaphor to make sense of how I handle the world). I’ve learned how to buffer it better since then, but it’s still sometimes a fragile thing, and when it crashes, it crashes pretty hard and takes me a while to figure out what’s going on. I did that this morning, although it was a very little crash as far as things go, and a long afternoon nap took care of it and ramped me back up into adrenaline work-mode again. I’ve gotten so much better at burnout prevention in the past half-decade. It is good.
Finally finished my taxes today. (Dear May 11 extension for Middlesex county, you rock.) I’m feeling pretty good about how I’m keeping an eye on my finances now – I know where everything is or how to get things to that state, I know what I’m doing with it and why, and… okay, my file drawer could use some re-architecturing so it’s easier next year, I’ll get to that. 2010 should really be the last year of weirdness, assuming I can persuade my parents to give me my 529 in the next 7 months, because that’s all that’s left.
I have basically everything I need – I need to keep my bike maintained and keep my (17-year-old) car alive for another year because driving becomes drastically cheaper when you’re 25, and maybe I’ll go through another (computer) keyboard or two because I do have the nickname “Keyboard Thunder” for a reason, but… all the big stuff, I’ve got. And there isn’t much of that. I’ll be ready to move to Raleigh in August with my stuff jammed into the back of my car. I’ll need a few small things – a chef’s knife, paring knife, vegetable peeler, and serrated knife, for instance. But I’ve got a wok and a cutting board, a pot and a ricecooker, and what else do you need? My mattress is a glorified air mattress, so it deflates and stuffs into the trunk. I’m downgrading my keyboard and bringing my guitar and bass, and my books… well, my books I’m going to miss. But what’s important? Stuff is not important. Living is important, people are important, experiences are important. Not stuff.
So I think I can make this coming year (the year I’m 24) the year I actually concentrate on the “being healthy” thing. I’ve been greatly enjoying my new lung capacity (your ribs are supposed to move and expand when you breathe! wow!) even if the coughing from last week hasn’t abated (I feel great otherwise) and am overjoyed I’ll actually be able to go blues dancing almost every week between now and June. Sleeping, eating, exercising… and actually going to see doctors, I guess. Well, I’ll figure it out eventually. I’d like to stick around this world for a while; I’ve got a lot to do. More to think about – it’s my pre-birthday month, and… all things considered, I’m rather pleased with how year 23 turned out.
Speaking of the being-healthy thing, I know I’m exhausted and running on adrenaline right now, and I’ve promised that I’ll go to sleep before 3:30 (which is in half an hour). So I need to break off from the computer, pack away my workstation (which is taking over the kitchen counter), plan for tomorrow, and… gradually wind down to go to sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be an interesting day.
Monday, April 26th, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments »
Sebastian and I spent half the day sprinting on webpages for the 4 new Fedora Spins coming out next month (and therefore being highlighted in the F13 talking points). And yes, there’s an SOP for that (still in progress)[0].
As part of this, we present our brilliant new marketing campaign for AWESUMXAUR, formerly known as Sugar on a Stick.
AWESUMXAUR, a AWESUM-based AWESUM OF AWESUM featuring the AWESUM Learning Environment and designed to fit on a usb thumbdrive (“AWESUMSTIX”). Originally developed for the One Laptop Per Child Project and designed specifically for K-8 classrooms to engage children in collaborating with others in exploring the world around them, AWESUMXAUR gives students access to a thriving community-created ecosystem of software AWESUMNEZZZ – games and applications designed to achieve specific pedagogical goals (OF AWESUM) – ranging from AWESUM simulators and interactive AWESUM synthesis for beginning readers to a way of accessing and remixing open AWESUM to create and share customized AWESUM of AWESUM.
Commented Greg DeKoenigsberg on the rebranding: “I am a big fan.”[1][2]
In other news, Sesame Street is awesome. I mean, Jason Mraz singing about going outside with Elmo harmonizing and backup vocals from Muppet birds? This just completely made my day.
[0] The actual spin pages for Soas/Moblin/Design/Security should appear shortly, we still need screenshots/designs/various pieces of content and infrastructure to link to… all before the release in May. It’s going to be a fun next couple of weeks.
[1] He actually did say this.
[2] Yes, I know, I know. I am so tempted to make a parody spin webpage now, but… should wait until the real ones are finished first, and all the other marketing deliverables done, and POSSE set, and… and… and… but!
Sunday, April 25th, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments »
Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” is one of my favorite books ever. Seuss, in general, is awesome; I wrote a math paper in college entirely in Seussian style once, and I am still quite proud of it.[0]
There’s one part of the book that gets me, though.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
I’d usually go “yep, those are great odds!” But right now, I’m going wait, what, only?
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
Yep. Just need the chance to move ‘em. It has been a long month, but we are almost there.
[0] Other homework highlights of my college career include the continuing saga of Fritz the Homework Penguin as was featured on the margins of each of my freshman year math problem sets, as well as when I handed in my first Partial Differential Equations assignment on a mobius strip (because Burt had been jokingly complaining about having to flip back and forth between sides of a page when checking through a long series of equations). (Years later, he still had my homework hanging in his office.) However, I received equally fascinating assignments to grade as a TA, including the ModCon lab that was done as an interpretative dance.
Sunday, April 25th, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments »
Dancing was very good tonight. I appreciate that I’ll be able to make Blues Union most Thursday nights between now and the start of June – it’s good for me, I get to see friends, dance, stop thinking for a while.
I’ve spent the past 2.5 days powering through on adrenaline and very little sleep, and today my right hand reminded me about my RSI, and sanity prevailed. It’s not the sort of deep constant exhaustion I remember and am used to from my student days, but I am tired right now, so I’m sleeping in a moment, and not setting my alarm, and I’ll wake up and start working when I wake up (probably in 6 hours, or maybe 7 if I’m really tired).
Tomorrow: working from home with the most ergonomic possible setup, with running breaks. The family is out at the museum for a last-day-of-spring-break outing, so I have the house to myself, which means swing music will be blasting all day. Mmm.
The world continues to be more awesome than I ever could have imagined.
Friday, April 23rd, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments »
Useful productivity trick: use procrastination on something you have to do in order to spur you to do other things (which you also have to do) in order to avoid it, then do the thing you were procrastinating on.
Still breathing right now, have been loping at a more or less steady clip since I got back to Boston. Running on momentum that’s less adrenaline rush than force of habit. Satisfactorily functional – mostly stuff that has to be plugged through, though I do enjoy it. I’m learning that I love traveling and teaching, but hate setting up logistics for both; planning is not my strongest suit, and I do best when I’m told to show up and improvise awesomeness in a location (I do prepare to improvise). Work is great; it’s life that’s making me tired, but it’s good tired, it’s all stuff I want to spend time on.
I am overusing my hands; tomorrow is full of meetings, and I’ll be going to the office so I can use my ergonomic keyboard + keyboard tray + good posture stuff. And Friday I’m going to try to do as much without typing as possible.
Got a haircut today, hacked out half the POSSE Worcester curriculum, reviewed a whole bunch of documents (academic conventions still don’t make sense to me), chaired a lunch table at the Grand Challenges Summit, had lugaw for the first time in far too long (comfort food!). Still coughing, but have otherwise felt great for days; no longer have TEH PLAGUEZ or whatever it was; either that or I’m more able to ignore it. Both work. :)
Booked tickets to my cousin’s wedding, need to book tickets to go camping with Andrew the weekend of my birthday… frequent flyer miles + weekend jaunts = TEH WINZ.
Incoherent Mel talks in lolcat!
Incoherent Mel should do POSSE acceptance letters and then sleep. Also, incoherent Mel is hungry. Will go digging in kitchen…
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments »
Inspired by this post by Sacha Chua.
In my wild dreams of success, I am a student – but a peculiar sort of one. I am a student of making things – that is to say, I’m actively hacking stuff and being openly reflective about it – and my teachers are the students I am teaching, or whom I have taught, or the students of my students (or somewhere down that line).
Studying and making and hacking are things I would like to return to, and things I will come back to cyclically throughout my life. I want to build the kind of world I’d like to learn in and then be able to enjoy it – sort of the equivalent of, say, a college president retiring and then enrolling as a freshman. Maybe not quite so drastic or clear, but a similar idea.
I’ve found that I can’t just relax into making (worksforme is not sufficient) until the conditions under which everyone is able to hack – because I want to hack with other people! – are satisfactory, and so I became a teacher and a system-shaper so that someday, maybe, I could rest. For instance, I am looking forward to being a campus ambassador – and so I’ve been talking a bit to Ryan Rix about building that program so it will kick ass by the time I arrive, and I can relax and settle into being Just Like Any Other Newbie. And I so look forward to being Just Another Volunteer on the Marketing team headed by Robyn Bergeron next release cycle.
So it’s important for me to learn to be a catalyst, rather than carrying things on my shoulders ad infinitum, and it’s important for me to learn how to pass the raptor/bus test, let go, move on. As long as the world isn’t the one I want to live in, I will keep on changing it – until other people start to do the job. And then I will bloody well relax and enjoy it.
I’ll worry about learning how to relax when that time comes. ;-)
Sunday, April 18th, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments »
