[M]etabrain [E]ntry [L]og - Braindump of the Mel. Seek coherency and relevance at your own risk.

Welease Woger!

Rollerblading: only fell once! Evanston has brick sidewalks, so this is something of a triumph. I need to become comfortable braking.

Speech therapy (the reason I was rollerblading to Evanston): yeah, I can’t pronounce R’s, okay? (Hence this post title.) I’m not even allowed to practice those because I’d be practicing mistakes… other things to work on include the ‘L’ sound in the middle of words, “dark l’s” at the end of words (as in the word “glottal” or “final”), and “g” sounds at the end of words, which I tend to de-voice. The letter combination ’spr’ at the start of the word presents a problem as well, since I can’t say ‘r’ sounds, can’t hear ‘p’ sounds but do lipread them (and pronounce them) as ‘b’ sounds, and can’t hear ’s’ sounds. (Translation: Instead of saying “spring,” I say “bing.”)

Jazz is awfully nice. I wonder what it’s like to know an instrument so well, and to be comfortable enough playing and making sounds on it to just let loose and play and go with it and see where it sounds, instead of trying to stick with sheet music all the time?

I did get some Beethoven sonatas from the library to sightread, and though my sightreading was atrocious it felt nice to be able to slip into something unfamiliar that wasn’t really unfamiliar. For some reason, I can sightread Beethoven better than nearly any other composer - his music just makes more sense to me, like it’s right to put your fingers in those places, so the piece flows more easily even if it’s my first time through it. (Not sure how many Beethoven pieces remain that I haven’t tried at least once, but this book had a couple I didn’t recognize at all.)

Still confused and angry, but not venting much on that tonight. I don’t have words for it; I need to listen to find out what’s going on, and maybe if they’re amenable to being put into words, I’ll form them out. In a few minutes I should turn off my computer (Nikki’s going to sleep), stop the music, and lie down, look up, and try to listen to the crackling inside for a while.

I wish I could lie on my back in soft, soft grass with a clear night above, watching fireworks explode and rush out the sky to engulf me, and then drift away to uncover a starry sky.

Dumplings. They are delicious. As is apple strudel ice cream.