So I realize that the example I think of first when I think of debugging in an academic context is not the same thing everybody encounters (god forbid), but I still wanted to share. It may be of relevance that some problems just resist being bottled up from an engineering perspective.

I think of freshman year, sitting in a prof’s office trying to explain why I, veteran of two years’ study of calculus and linear algebra, was suddenly feeling like I didn’t know any math nor could seem to learn any. That conversation was the single most painful debugging session I have ever experienced or hope to live to see. It went something like this:

Q: It’s not like I’m not trying. I have a serious problem trying to learn the material.
A: And what do you think that might be?
Q: The book, maybe? Definitely. It’s at least partly the book. I think it’s too vague.
(A proceeds to debunk this argument)
Q: Then it’s too specific. I need clear generalities.
(A insists that the book is by far the best one available on the subject, having just switched from last year’s book)
Q: Well I don’t know then. Maybe it’s my learning style. Maybe it’s your teaching style. Maybe it’s…
(Q & A proceed to butt heads to no avail for 30 minutes straight)

What bothers me about this isn’t even how close I came to breaking down in the man’s office (I’ve heard enough war stories to know that’s actually a respectable thing to do). It isn’t the fact that to this day ODEs are a slippery subject, or that I’ve been forced to find new and different maths that I can truly grok (I’m rather glad I did). As Mr Wronkowski said to me in 11th grade, only a genius gets all the math he encounters. The rest of us have to be prepared for the day we hit a brick wall – a concept that’s just too much for us to digest. I have come to terms with this.

What bothers me is that in that moment I felt powerless because I could not diagnose the problem. Self-awareness is very important to me, it’s one of the strengths I get by on. And in that moment I was absolutely clueless. I wonder if other people go through life feeling like that constantly, and it’s a creepy idea. Without introspective capabilities and some rudimentary meta-education, how does anyone get by? And then I remember, they don’t. Most of them don’t become engineers, they become philosophy majors or drop-outs, and then later waiters and janitors and laborers and what-have-you (it’s thoughts like that that make me begin to understand why you’re drawn to both fields). ^_*

As for me, I spend a lot less time debugging nowadays because a) the work has gotten a little easier and b) I’m generally aware of the problem. Most often it’s just that I have ceased to care about the subject in question and cannot force myself to study.